1-You like throwing stuff at the animals in your super-depressing zoo. Check out Andreas blog for more on that. It's a sad story.
2- You love getting awards. I mean, you really, really love getting awards. Beijing has tons and tons of these little awards/trophy shops all over. In fact, if you see one of them, chances are you'll see at least three more before you get to the end of the block. There are even some streets that have upwards of ten shops selling plaques, trophies, cups and other awards and awards paraphernalia. Why? Who knows. Maybe in the absence of a truly free market people need trophies to stay motivated at work. Maybe used plaques commemorating the 25th City Games of Hangzhou are status symbols. Then again, I have yet to see any business transacted in one of these stores...
3- You make your kids wear assless pants. Seriously, you see little kids walking around the streets in pants with the ass cut out. I try to avoid wondering why.
4- You smoke cigarettes while riding a bike. Experts might even talk on a cell phone at the same time.
5-You know how to add those little touches that make a car look truly classy. Booyakasha!