The Flying Elephant Express

Lord I Was Born A Scramblin' Man

2009-04-24T13:17:00.001-07:00

Can you tell I'm in love?

Scrambler!

2009-04-22T08:14:00.000-07:00

Ordained by fate. Don't fight it.

No, Eating A Spider Didn't Kill Us

2009-04-16T18:38:00.000-07:00

But it felt like it might for a few hours. We pickied up this hairy bad boy at a roadside market/restaurant between Phnom Penh and Siem Reap. Our driver Som (a highlight of the trip in his own right) had been regaling us with stories of the foods (and lack thereof) of his childhood. He claimed spider was not only delicious, but medicinal as well. How so? He couldn't explain any more than "spider has something the body needs." Which was all the goading I needed. And Som wasn't lying. The spider was delicious, having been crispy-fried in a sweet, Teriyaki-like sauce. It's medicinal effects were noticeable as well, as both Andrea and I noticed mild-to-troubling neurological effects for the next several hours. And no wonder. Som said that he had been bitten by this particular species of spider as a young man, and had endured terrible sickness and pain as a result. An impressive achievement for the arachnid, considering Som had developed almost complete resistence to scorpion, millipede, wasp and other insect venom (possibly due to the fact that such insects made up a significant part of his diet for years during the Khmer Rouge-era famines). This particular fellow had had his fangs removed, insisted Som, meaning there was no poison in the tasty snack. Our upset stomaches, mild muscle spasms, headache and (in my cases) temporarily blurred vision begged to differ. Then again, to say that Som is made of sterner stuff than us is an understatement of truly epic proportions.

No, We Did Not Die In Hanoi Traffic

2009-04-14T02:43:00.000-07:00

Part two of our scooter video proves it. Sort of. I guess. The truth is, the beaches of Southern Cambodia are so beautiful and relaxing that we kind of forgot that you all exist. Plus the internet wasn't working (it's hard to get WiFi into those rustic bungalows). Plus we barely took any pictures anyway. Suffice it to say we had an amazing time. I will expound at greater length, but having just been driven almost the entire length of Cambodia, the last thing I want to do right now is sit in front of a computer. Especially since I'm feeling a bit woozy from the particularly large, poisonous (fried) spider I recently ingested (pics, etc to follow). For now, a quick stroll around Siem Reap to clear the head (and hopefully cleanse the nervous system) is in order. Enjoy part two of Hanoi scooter madness.

Oh No You Didn't

2009-04-09T05:10:00.000-07:00

Sorry Mom, but I rented a moped and spent two days cruising the crazed streets of Hanoi. The second day was Andrea's day off from the conference, and she took this video from the back of our Honda Wave. Feel the pavement-rippling power of our 100cc hog, as we join the the chaos of Hanoi traffic. The video starts close to the Vietnam Military History Museum, and the first point of interest is Ho Chi Minh's mausoleum. From there we pretty much just get lost. Which pretty much summarizes my two days cruising Hanoi. Lots and lots of getting lost. And really, if there's a better way to see a city I can't think of it.

The Inevitable Food Post

2009-04-07T18:10:00.000-07:00

Why is it that food always inspires at least one blog post when I travel? Hell, sometimes I wonder if food isn't the reason I travel at all. And I'm certainly convinced that you can learn more from a good meal than from gawking at some tourist-crowded monument. Hanoi proves the point. Despite the painful legacies of French colonialism, cafe culture rules in Hanoi. Coffee is dark-roasted, individually percolated, and stunningly good. Think a cross between French roast and Turkish coffee. Locals and tourists alike rub shoulders at sidewalk cafes and garden terraces overlooking the busy streets, sipping excellent coffee, iced or hot. Especially when ensconced in a vine-wreathed deck above the clamor of the street traffic, the ambiance is unmistakeably European.

Coffee, however, is but the prologue to Hanoi's culinary delights. French influences continue on the street level, with baguettes figuring heavily into many of the infinite street foods. From donor kebab in baguette to omelettes in baguettes, the french bread is everywhere. Deep-fried baguette? Yeah, haven't tried that one yet. And to be perfectly honest, the baguettes in general don't quite meet my bread-snob expectations. So let's skip to Hanoi's signature dishes.

Cha Ca, or fried fish is the champion signature dish in Hanoi. They even named part of a street after it, and you'll have to make your way there to find the signature restaurant for this signature dish: Cha Ca LaVong. No, not "Cha Ca LaLuong" across the street. LaVong is the only way to go. Here's how it works: you sit down at one of the spartan tables and the help hands you the menu, which is actually just a card that says "only one dish: fried fish." Fine, that's why you came. Order a beer, and a few minutes later, your food arrives.

Lightly battered chunks of catfish sizzle in a pan of oil over a coal fire. Throw in the provided mixed herbs, stir it up and dump it into your bowl full of noodles. Throw in more fresh herbs and a little nuoc mam (fish sauce) and stuff it in your face. The key (I think) is their totally unidentifiable but stunning mixture of herbs, which create a redolent bouquet of smells and flavors as it fries with the fish. You can get a version of this at Portland's Pok Pok, but it can't hold a candle. And costs like ten times as much. Though I'm usually tempted to try to recreate dishes myself, I wouldn't know where to start replicating the delicate, herbaceous flavors thaat come from those mysterious greens.

And then there's the Pho. If you've had Pho, you know how good it is under any circumstances. If you've never had Vietnam's signature beef noodle soup, you need to start rethinking your priorities in life. And unless you've tasted it, it's nearly impossible to describe. In Hanoi, it's everywhere, it's cheap, and it's delicious. The broth has simmered for months for all you can tell, with fresh bones being constantly being thrown into the pot. The noodles and beef are cooked quickly in the broth when you order, and the result is orgasmic. Sitting on the tiny plastic chairs, sipping bia (beer, duh) and slurping Pho is the perfect way to power up before cruising the night markets. Sure, there are scooters blatting past you just three feet away while you're eating, but if you aren't used to scooter traffic within a few hours of arrival, well, Hanoi just probably isn't for you.

Pictures Speak Louder Than Words

2009-04-06T17:23:00.001-07:00

Learning By Losing (Direction)

2009-04-05T22:11:00.000-07:00

Man, it's been a wild day-and-a-half (I guess... time isn't making sense right now). The last post here was thrown up fairly quickly as a "we're alive, please don't call the embassy" courtesy, and sadly this one has to go up quickly as well. I have to zip over to the 'ol Hanoi Daewoo to meet Andrea for lunch in just a few minutes, and since I'll be taking a moto taxi (called "cuddle taxis" in Vietnamese, because, well, you cuddle the driver) this may well be my last living act. The Xe Om, as they're called, are just that much fun. Oh, and speaking of Andrea, this conference thing is kind of a big deal, as the picture below proves. Signs like this are all over town.

Anyway, I'm finally getting my grips on this town. Well, the old quarter anyway. Which is no mean feat, considering it's a rabbit warren of winding streets, agressive scoot drivers and an architectural hodge-podge that really lacks distinguishing landmarks. How have I become more comfortable getting around? By getting lost first. Last night, as Andrea succumbed to the first sin of jet lag (5pm bedtime) I took off looking for a power adaptor. It turned out I didn't even need one (I'm an idiot) but the 6 hours of blind wandering has done wonders for my navigation (and language) skills. Today when I went to buy plane tickets for Cambodia, I wandered out of the Old Quarter (accidentally finding the Uncle Ho-saleum)and got lost again, but a Xe Om ride to Hoang Kiem lake brought my bearings back instantly. And all for one dollar and a little terror. I haven't been properly lost since.

Speaking of Xe Om terror, lunch with Andrea (and a little pre-meal colon-clenching on the back of a Honda Wave) beckons, so I'll have to cut it off here. I'm having an amazing time and our travel arrangements for Cambodia are taken care of, so there's plenty more blogging to come. I'll at least post some pictures later this evening. Until then, Tam Biet!

Arrived!

2009-04-04T21:33:00.000-07:00

Well, after over 24 hours of travel, we're in Hanoi. The usual chaos of arriving and checking in is behind us, and its about time to go do some exploring. Actually, we still have to brave the mad, mad, mad traffic one more time to get Andrea registered for her conference. Which happens to be located way across town. Which means another wide-eyed, white-knuckle ride on Hanoi's wild streets. While we endure that ordeal, here are a few photos for you to enjoy.

Andrea preps on the plane
As good as traffic gets. Which is why our driver is texting.

Plenty more to come!

Eff It Dude, Let's Go To 'Nam

2009-04-03T07:29:00.000-07:00

Ok, so the weather isn't this nasty anymore. Still, I'm ready to ditch town. Which is where having a hotshot historic preservationist for a girlfriend comes in. Andrea will be presenting her research on Olympic development in Beijing at a Forum UNESCO conference in Hanoi, and I'm tagging along. In fact, we leave this evening. So for two short weeks, this blog will once again be updated with pictures and thoughts from our travels. This week I'll be posting from Hanoi, and starting next Friday I'll be coming at you from various parts of Cambodia. Also, be sure to check out Andrea's blog, The Sustainability Gap.

Yes Please

2008-10-07T08:42:00.001-07:00

Please God, let this happen.

Best. Vanity Plate. Ever.

2008-06-27T10:16:00.000-07:00

My Other Bike Is A GMC

2008-05-20T16:34:00.000-07:00

My daily rider is a 70's Peugeot Carbolite. I recently picked this up to fool around with. Didn't even notice the stickers until after I'd bought it. Ugh, I own a GMC!

Holy Statism!

2008-04-28T16:36:00.000-07:00

Tip of the hat to Reason Rough Cut.

So True...

2008-04-26T18:14:00.001-07:00

Caged animals One, China Zero

2008-04-07T11:25:00.000-07:00

Remember Andrea's post about the sadness that is the Beijing Zoo?

Well, the abused animals of China fought back recently, as a young, mentally ill man was literally eaten by a tiger at the Harbin zoo. As sad as the story is, if you saw how animals are treated in captivity in China, you'd want to eat the most vulnerable Chinese person you could find. Money line? "Only two legs and his skull were left," the report said.

Munch.

5 Years In And Iraq Is Only Now Free Enough To Ghost Ride The Whip?

2008-03-24T12:53:00.000-07:00

Found

2008-03-19T19:38:00.000-07:00

...on Facebook of all places.

This reminds of so many people I know, it's insane.

Thanks Anne for finding awesome things!

Also...

2008-03-14T14:51:00.000-07:00

I write about cars all day. I'm boring. Deal.

Too True...

2008-03-14T13:37:00.000-07:00

David Brooks pens a hell of a column.

FEE Exclusive: 2008 Impreza AB Edition

2008-02-29T21:29:00.000-08:00

This has been a sneak peek of Ms. Andrea Blaser's new 2008 Impreza 2.5i Wagon.

Oh Yeah...

2008-02-25T10:04:00.000-08:00

I'm working as a blogger/content provider for The Truth About Cars... and yeah, I got the job from my daddy. You can check out my posts in the "News" section every day of the week, and I'll be trying to get editorials published on a regular basis. My first editorial appears here, and is part of TTAC's ongoing "Deathwatch" series covering the decline of the American auto industry. My piece discusses two-mode hybrid technology, and it's role in the profound unprofitability of General Motors. I hope to make energy-efficiency and globalization the focus of my editorials, but I'll be writing about all kinds of car-related nonsense for the foreseeable future. Just remember next time you are getting ready to head off to your office or place of employment... somewhere in Portland, Ted Niedermeyer is getting paid to hang out in his pajamas. New Media in the hizzy!

awkward pause...

2008-02-19T10:09:00.000-08:00

...

...

...

Word To Your Daddy

2008-02-11T10:45:00.000-08:00

It's possible that a few of you may have wondered why "The Truth About Cars" link shows up in my blogroll. It's not just because I like to read about cars from time to time (although I do), and it's not just because TTAC is basically the best place to get car reviews and editorials on the web (although it is). No, the real reason is because my dad writes there...

Anyway, I was just over there reading the latest wheezings from the saurian Brock Yates, when I noticed that my old man actually has his own category over there which includes his epic 27-part "auto-biography" series along with various other automobile-related musings. Anyway, check it out... the guy can write, and if you are at all interested in the auto industry, new cars, old cars or epic debates about the relative merits of Fox-body Fords TTAC is the place for you.

One for the "it's funny to me" file...

2008-02-10T14:02:00.000-08:00

Being new to Portland (not to mention incurably immature) and all, I got all giggly when my pronunciation of "Couch Street" was corrected by a housemate. Apparently it's the oldest Portland joke in the book, but the street is pronounced like the female genitalia, not the furniture item. As if that weren't hilarious enough, the damn street was named after John H Couch, better known as Captain Couch.

OK, for those of you who aren't rolling in the aisles that's pronounced "Captain Cooch."

Got it now? Good. Now check out Captaincouch.com and don't say I never did anything for you.

Happy Year of the Rat!

2008-02-07T14:14:00.000-08:00

It's Chinese New Years today, and since the awesome local asian grocery is closed and I can't get the ingredients to whip up some Chinese food, I thought I'd post a recipe I've been working on.

For the sake of clarity, I'll call it Kung Pao Chicken, but its inspiration lies in "chicken in chili sauce," a bastardization of the Sichuan "Gong Bao Ji Ding" dish which is pretty ubiquitous in small Beijing restaurants. It's sweeter than anything that comes close to authentic Sichuan, but unless you're begging for a tastebud beatdown that will leave your eyes and nose flowing free that's no bad thing. I've tried to get the recipe as close to as I remember the dish in Beijing, but I tend to add more veggies than it usually came with.

Please note that all ingredient amounts are very approximate. There are lots of dash's of this and "to taste's" of that. Sorry, that's just how I roll.

Niedermeyer's Famous Kung Pao Chicken

Chop as much chicken as you want to make into small chunks. I don't have a huge wok or a gas range, so I typically do 2/3 breasts and I've found that small chunks work better than thin strips in this recipe. Most recipes tell you to marinate the chicken in a cornstarch/water mixture, but I never do with this recipe. Since this is the "prep" stage, chop up any of the following that you have around:
*Green Onions- chopped fine- minimum two, maximum ten. Look for the giant ones at your local asian market and use them in big chunks.
*Fresh Ginger- chopped fine- just a tiny chunk at most (the size of a bottle cap). Don't let it overpower the dish, and don't bother with the powder stuff.
*Garlic- chopped fine- a clove or two (one teaspoon?)
*Yellow/Red Onion- quartered- you can throw in a whole one or leave it out.
*Bell Pepper- chunked any size you like- best with one red, one yellow if you feel like getting extravagant.
*Bamboo shoots- chopped and rinsed well
*You can add any other veggies you want, but then you're on your own. Punk.

Here's what else you need.
*Dried Chinese Red Peppers
*Sichuan Peppercorns - These can be hard to find, because their importation was banned until '05, but you can find them at good asian markets. Mine came in an unmarked bag, and I had to dig around to find them. They are totally necessary for this dish though and if you like to cook they are a fun flavor to play with.
*Chili Bean Sauce. I use this brand.
*Hoisin Sauce.
*Chinese 5-Spice. Just a tiny bit, and even that isn't 100% necesssary.
*Oil. I use canola, but peanut is a little more authentic I think.
*Sugar.
*Chinese cooking wine.

First, find your wok and wok this way (wok-a wok-a). Ok, sorry... that was wiggity-wok. Damn!

Throw a few teaspoons of oil in there. Enough to cook the chicken quickly, but not deep-fry it. Turn your heat up and throw in 2-12 dried peppers and 1-3 teaspoon of peppercorns and let them fry until they sizzle, then take them out and set them aside.
Make sure the oil is really hot, then throw the chicken in. Cook it hot, cook it fast.
When the chicken is done, get rid of excess oil in the wok. You want about a tablespoon left.
Throw in garlic, ginger, onion, green onion (leave some for garnish!) a teaspoon or so of chili bean sauce, and a dash of cooking wine and stir fry with the chicken.
Add a bunch more Chili Bean sauce, the fried dried chilis and about a teaspoon of Hoisin. Throw in enough sugar to just take the salty edge off the the Chili Bean flavor. This obviously depends on how much Chili Bean sauce you use, but a tablespoon or two should do it. I also throw in a tiny bit of ground peppercorn here, with a dash of 5-spice, but be careful as they can easily overpower.
Throw in the rest of your veggies and stir fry until done.

Serve with rice. Gong Hay Fat Choy!

Because I just can't get enough awkward...

2008-02-05T14:51:00.000-08:00

Via Hit 'n Run: Harry Schearer (a.k.a. Principal Skinner) has some fun with raw footage of Clinton and Romney, by creating the first ever silent debate. How can something so right be so damn uncomfortable?

Mmm... Brains

2008-02-04T12:46:00.000-08:00

If there are two things I love in life, they are cover music and zombies. Which is why I flipped when I popped in a Home Movies DVD and this popped up in the preview reel. This bizarre little video is the preview to the soundtrack to the video game Stubbs The Zombie: Rebel Without A Pulse, and the prospect of a video game in which you ARE a zombie and a soundtrack featuring Indie Rock covers of classic rock tunes had me instantly intrigued. I quickly acquired both the game and the song (legally... of course) and they both pretty much rule.

The game itself is fun for the simple reason that you get to fulfill all your zombie fantasies, by shuffling around eating people's brains. The game takes place in Punchbowl, a 1950s "City of the Future" inhabited by all kinds of quirky convenience robots, and the whole thing is carried off with heavy doses of sly humor, pop-culture references and general hilarity. The real downside to the game is pretty predictable, in that basically all you do is shuffle around and messily devour brains. Sure, the story and it's awesome cut scenes keep you interested, as do the variety of enemies (cops, scientists, backwoods militiamen who think the zombie apocalypse is a communist plot) and different weapons (throwing your exploding guts, ripping off your hand and steering it around to possess enemies and farting), but the gameplay itself gets undeniably stale after a while. Even the weird minigames, like the Thriller-inspired dance-off against the Chief of Police don't do enough to provide gameplay variety.

The dance-off does provide a showcase for the awesome soundtrack to this quirky game. Because the movie is set in the 50's, the songs are all covers of bubblegum music from the era covered by indie rockers of today. As I mentioned before, I love cover music and this is no exception. The most annoying songs on oldies radio are redone by bands like Death Cab, Cake, and the Raveonettes among others, transforming chestnuts like "Mr Sandman" from unbearable kitsch to semi-ironic entertainment. Like the game, the album's genre creates predictable highs and lows. The Raveonettes take on "My Boyfriend's Back," Ben Kweller's "Lollipop" and the Flaming Lip's trippy "If I Only Had A Brain" are creatively done, and unique enough to make them sound fresh, whereas Cake's "Strangers in the Night" and Death Cab's "Earth Angel" fall into the overly faithful, phoned-in category. Still, even these low notes score high on the novelty scale, as do the covers of Buddy Holly's "Everyday" and already weird "Lonesome Town," creating a remarkably solid album experience which never forces you to remind yourself that this is the soundtrack to a video game. On the downside, most of these songs are so damnably catchy, you may just find yourself singing "Ooh-lolly, lolly-lolly" as you chew your way through the zombie apocalypse.

Under Armour: The Sportswear of Fascists

2008-02-03T23:13:00.000-08:00

Well, the superbowl is over, and I'm still basking in schadenfreude at the Patriots unexpected loss to the Giants. I got a chuckle or two out of a few of the ads too, but one in particular was just plain scary. The athletic gear company Under Armour ran a 60 second spot (which apparently was expensive enough to cause the company's stock to plummet by nearly 50%) featuring it's new "Prototype" shoe and it's new marketing slogan "The Future Is Ours." The ad starts typically for the genre: athletes training in CGI environments, but it rapidly builds to a weird, highly fascistic political rally of sorts, complete with banners bearing the Under Armour logo and words like "power." Now, I realize that the whole calling things fascist meme has gotten a bit out of control lately, so just take a look. Just don't blame me when you have nightmares about Under Armour henchmen hauling you off to a concentration camp because you can only do three pushups.
The Future is Ours - Under Armour

Groundhog Day Somehow Weirder Than I Imagined

2008-02-02T15:21:00.000-08:00

I don't know about anyone else, but I had basically forgotten all about Groundhogs Day since, oh, I graduated kindergarten. When I did pay attention, it never occurred to me how improbable it is that this bizarre myth is really replayed every year in Punxsutawney, (yeah, I had to copy/pasted that) Pennsylvania. Of course, the residents of Punxsutawney and the membership Punxsutawney Groundhog Club (yup, groundhog.org) want you to believe that this rodent character really does have some kind of weird power... and judging by all the insanity which surrounds him, he probably does.

Take for example, the crazy press release from this year's crazy celebration:

Here Ye! Here Ye! Here Ye!

On Gobbler's Knob on this fabulous Groundhog Day, February 2nd, 2008
Punxsutawney Phil, the Seer of Seers, Prognosticator of all Prognosticators,
Rose to the call of President Bill Cooper and greeted his handlers, Ben Hughes and John Griffiths.

After casting a weathered eye toward thousands of his faithful followers,
Phil consulted with President Cooper and directed him to the appropriate scroll, which proclaimed:

"As I look around me, a bright sky I see, and a shadow beside me.
Six more weeks of winter it will be!"

So, they admit it: Phil doesn't actually look at his shadow at all! This "seer of seers" just "consults" with some top hat wearing loon, and "directs him to the appropriate scroll" which proclaims the putative weather forecast? And does this all have to happen on "Gobblers Knob?" I don't know, I like to think of myself as a tolerant person and everything, but why the hell does this crap end up in our nations schools? Because teachers are lazy and groundhog.org offers a "lesson plan for teachers," that's why. Songs about groundhogs sung to the tune of christmas carols and games which are exactly like normal games only played with "a stuffed groundhog, or a picture of a groundhog taped to a stick" do not a curriculum make.

I'm taking a stand here people: it's crap like groundhogs day that makes kids end up like this:

New Headquarters

2008-01-29T13:26:00.000-08:00

The Flying Elephant Express has moved to its spacious new headquarters in beautiful North East Portland. In keeping with the finest traditions of this sad little slice of cyberspace, we bring you this news a good two weeks late in our ongoing defiance of the supposed immediacy of the medium.

Anyway, here's a taste of the new digs...

Ad Imitates Life?

2007-11-27T22:11:00.000-08:00

In a recent issue of Auto Motor und Sport this was noticed:
I feel... so used.

Open For Business...

2007-11-06T13:09:00.000-08:00

And don't worry... I'm always punctual.

...In which the lazy blogger uses photos to catch up

2007-10-30T19:05:00.000-07:00

So I haven't posted since leaving Qianmen for the Sport and Environment conference, mostly because we didn't have internet for most of that time, but also because I haven't really known what to write about. I kind of took the blog on a weird, pedantic jog in my last post, and I haven't been sure of where to go from there... so I'm just gonna post a few pictures. It's better for everyone this way.
The conference was a bit of a downer. Andrea covered it pretty well, so I'll just add that the site itself will look way cool when finished, but BOCOG and the IOC have missed a huge opportunity by proving every skeptic who says that "sustainability" is just a new buzzzword for the same, tired PR totally correct.
Then, there were the bugs in the hotel. And judging by the large smears on the walls, we weren't the first to spend a few long nights at the Century Longdu Apartments sending large, fast-moving bugs to the big, poorly maintained high-rise in the sky.But our weekend by the O-Green was not all bad. We happened to wander into the "South Silk Road" restaurant because everything else in the vicinity of the Conference Center seemed overpriced and westerner-oriented, and we hadn't tried Yunnan food yet. We were not surprised to find that the cuisine of the southwestern province is delicious, exotic and a refreshing contrast to the typical northern dishes, but we were shocked to discover that the place was dirt cheap, considering the high quality of ingredients and upscale decor. Here you can see the Fire Beef which was spicy and impossibly tender, and Pork with Mild Peppers and Sour Papaya, which was sweet, slightly spicy and sour with lime and cilantro flavors. Another highlight were the steamed buns which were made with sweet potato and cornmeal, and stuffed with sweet, smoky shredded barbecue ham. Probably the best restaurant we've been to yet, at the price.Since getting back to Templeside, we went down to Chongwen by subway to check out more hutongs... I've been wanting a picture of this warning on the subway for some time.
Large parts of the protected areas in Chongwen look like war zones, particularly where the streets have been widened. Houses are simply gashed open to make way for the street, leaving half standing structures along these newly-paved roads, giving the place a kind of small-scale Dresden 1946 look. This army tent with a small plot of corn behind it really added to the whole post-apocalyptic feel.
These cats were a much-appreciated photographic distraction from the acres of rubble.
This is a picture from a billboard which currently blocks access to the Qianmen site. It shows what the place will look like once they get rid of all those pesky old buildings.
One of the coolest things about the hutongs which haven't been depopulated are the fruit markets. Fruit is super cheap, and of amazingly high quality. It doesn't all look good from the outside, which fools the American who is used to uniform displays of spotless produce, but the vendor will bust open the spotted, greenish tangerine you just turned your nose up at and make you eat a section, proving that it is lacking nothing in taste and juicyness. The grapefruit here are my favorite... the one in this picture is actually on the small side, as the really big ones can easily be the size of a human head. They are harder and crunchier than I'm used to, but taste delicious, and are a meal unto themselves.

What wouldn't you do for a billion bucks?

2007-10-22T07:00:00.000-07:00

Working with Andrea as she investigates the destruction of Qianmen's historic neighborhoods has given me the opportunity to explore a number of related issues and try new research methods. Some are fun, like running around with a camera trying to get pictures over walls without being spotted by guards, and some are less fun... like good, old fashioned dot-connecting. Here's some of what's come up:

China's economy has been blowing up for the last ten years, averaging about 10% growth in the last 5 years, compared to a global average of less than half that. Production not consumption is king here, and rather than the high personal debt rates that we have in America, savings rates in China are particularly high. These savings have been increasingly flooding both the stock markets and real estate markets, which explain both the facts that a) you see construction projects every other block here and b) China now has more billionaires than any nation on earth other than the US of A. Real Estate companies in particular are getting Google-sized IPOs based on a situation which Associate Professor at Beijing University Michael Pettis might call "the double-bubble"

"In real estate you're getting overinflated profits from borrowing money to get cheap land and then selling at inflated prices; and then you've got a stock market that is valuing a dollar of earnings at about 40 or 50 times. So you've got a bubble on top of a bubble."

It's funny too, because the situation he's referring to specifically here is that of SOHO-China, a real estate company who's recent $1.6 billion Hong Kong IPO grew 15% on it's first day of trading in an otherwise down market... oh yeah, and it's also the company now behind the Qianmen development which Andrea and I are looking into. Not only that, but the the success of the IPO was basically dependent on the Qianmen project "working out" for SOHO, given that the offering was for a price premium more than 1.6 times it's net asset value without the Qianmen project, but as this story in Marketwatch puts it:

The IPO price range's premium to NAV narrows to a maximum of 30% when the value of the Qianmen project is included, analysts said.

"It's really a gamble on whether you think the Qianmen project will get regulatory approval or not. After all, it's heritage sites we are talking about here," said an analyst with a mainland Chinese asset management fund, who declined to be named.

But like any gamble, when the zeroes keep getting tacked on, the risk soon becomes impossible to pass up. SOHO's profit was 340 million Yuan in 2006, and this year it's set to be 1.62 billion Yuan. If the Qianmen project gets held up (hint: it won't) their profit will *only* climb to 1.86 billion, but if (when) it does, the 2008 profits are expected to come in at 2.63 billion Yuan. Given the fact that SOHO's IPO lit up the Hong Kong market with 15% growth on it's first day, it seems pretty clear that investors (including Saudi Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal) have more faith in the power of projected profits than China's heritage protection laws.

And that's where the rubber hits the road. The Qianmen development is taking place in a parcel of land that is clearly marked in the Beijing Conservation Plan as a protected area, and from what little we can see between the huge barriers in place to prevent nosy parkers from getting a good look, most of the area is either leveled or just now being built. This is bad for a number of reasons which Andrea is far more qualified to explain, but there are numerous other reasons for why this situation is about more than jealousy of those who make it big during market bubbles. For one thing, it's hard to have too much respect for people who make lots of money in a real estate boom in a country where private property is a relatively new phenomenon. The rights and responsibilities of property ownership, the ability of local and central governments to abridge those rights at the behest of developers, and the recourse for property owners facing illegal evictions are all cutting edge issues here. It was a bit mind-blowing to talk to people working in NGO's, who would explained that the policies of the earlier communist eras created a historical context in which ownership is often impossible to determine, let alone verify, and eviction notices can be posted within a few days of the arrival of the wrecking ball.

But, this is not just a case for shaking ones head sadly and saying "that's just China." The 17th CPC Congress is just wrapping up in Beijing, and when the apparatchiks get done with the self-congratulations, they recognize that they have a lot of work to do. The general term "scientific development" is becoming a guiding principle for the party under Hu Jintao, and it points a course in which economic numbers are no longer the only measures of success, and the "harmonious society" is the ultimate goal. Now to a westerner this all sounds very "dear leader-ish" but even on state-run TV the debates over the environment, economic stratification and heritage protection are very real and surprisingly honest. Hell, the Vice-Minister for Construction has even compared the recent destruction of historic architecture to the excesses of the Great Leap Forward and the Cultural Revolution. From how I saw this issue just a month ago, that would be like hearing George Bush comparing Guantanamo Bay to a Soviet Gulag: unthinkable. Now it seems more like George Bush comparing Iraq to Vietnam: an admission that good intentions created a situation that is now entirely out of control.

The Life Aquatic

2007-10-19T06:01:00.000-07:00

Shanghai is, if nothing else, an exhausting city. After several days of heavy-duty shopping, huge crowds and harrowing subway rides, it was definately time to do something a little more relaxing. We couldn't have picked a more tranquil escape from the hustle and bustle than the Shanghai Ocean Aquarium. Wandering around the beautiful tanks of placid, colorful fish we forgot all about the 18 million go-getters we are sharing this non-stop city with... at least until we tried to catch a rush hour subway back across the Huangpu! Here are some pictures of our afternoon at the aquarium...Who wants this guys job? Dude, don't look now, but there are Giant Japanese Spider Crabs right behind you...
Andrea thought this giant Amazon River fish needed to be put in line, hence the angry fist.
Shark tunnel was way cool.
Going down the elevator, Andrea was getting way excited.
Seal, upside down.
A turtle... not that exciting, but pretty damn cute.
Fish chomping on lettuce. Kind of like "Jaws" for vegetarians.
Andrea trying to reason with more unruly fish.

Qingdao to Shanghai

2007-10-14T05:15:00.000-07:00

We awoke early yesterday, and since the weather was the best in the last two days I took an early morning dip in the Yellow Sea, swimming out to the farthest shark net on bathing beach 1 (about a half mile). The water was mild and refreshing, but accidentally swallowing small amounts nearly made me yack up my potato pancake breakfast.

After packing up and checking out of our hostel, we had a light lunch of delicious Shandong steamed dumplings, sat and chatted with the beer lady of Sifang Lu while getting some beer for the train, then caught a cab for the train station. Although we had been warned that the train from Qingdao to Shanghai was particularly long (20 hours) and not especially cheap compared to flying, we have both enjoyed taking the train... this time was no exception. Since our time in China is being divided between cities with anywhere from one to nearly four times the population of Oregon, the window of the train is our only exposure to the rural conditions in which the majority of Chinese people live.

The sights from the window only further deepen the complexity of impression that China leaves on the passing traveler. Lush, wild watersheds dividing huge agricultural fields, themselves split into infinite plots of grains, vegetables and flowers. Large-scale, mechanized agriculture was not strongly evidenced, and the conical sheafs of corn and small groups of workers in the fields were more reminiscent of rural scenes from 50 years ago, then anything you'd see in the American midwest today. But like everywhere else in China, time in rural Shandong and Jiangsu provinces does not stand still. Beside abandoned cinderblock collective farm buildings which look like they had never been inhabited by humans, the flashes of welding torches shone through the gathering dusk. Even as evening faded to night, lights illuminated huge construction sites, as workers toiled through the darkness. The contrast between the gaping, hollow window openings of old buildings which seemed to never have been fitted with frames or panes and the rising skeletons of new buildings were as incomprehensible as the piles of garbage directly next to arduously cultivated fields. If I ever come back here, I will have to spend far more time in the countryside.

The rythmic vibration of the train lulled us to sleep in our comfy bunks, and gently woke me again feeling refreshed... subtract what a hotel would have cost, and this train thing actually turns out to be a hell of a way to travel. As we approached Shanghai, the canals and waterways of Jiangsu province provided a new glimpse of life in China: ancient looking houseboats, homes opening directly onto the water and groups of men fishing from the riverbanks using poles and huge nets. Quickly the small homes and quiet canals gave way to ever higher and higher apartment blocks, and before we knew it, we were in Shanghai. We took the subway to our hostel (a much better ride than Beijing's metro, but less english and pinyin signage), checked in and then took the tube downtown to explore the City.

I don't want to pass too quick a judgment on Shanghai, but the hordes of fellow honkeys, aggressive street hawkers, poseur veneer, and generally frantic pace was a little off-putting after quaint, sleepy Qingdao and friendly, down-home Beijing. But, we've got plenty of time to discover the joys of mega-city life, and already the cheap food and abundance of shopping options are pointing the way. Still, I hope we can get out of the city at least once to wander the intriguing countryside which so confounded me from the train window.

Damn... let's go to the brewery.

2007-10-11T19:00:00.000-07:00

After arriving in Qingdao, and briefly exploring the city and beaches, we were so impressed with the beautiful weather that we made the snap decision to stay an extra night here, so as to get in plenty of swimming, sunning and beach lounging before heading to Shanghai. That night in the hostel bar I made a point of asking the bartender what the weather was supposed to be like for the next few days. "Nice," he said. "Sunny," he said.

When we woke up yesterday morning we couldn't tell what the weather was like because you can't even see the sky from our window, but we geared up for a day of beachfront leisure, only to be greeted by gray skies and fog. In our optimism, we thought the sun would burn it off and bring back the clear skies and sun of the day before. So, we wandered around looking for breakfast, a quest which ended up taking hours due to the lack of the streetfood vendors and small bakeries which we had become dependent on in Beijing. Meanwhile it started raining.

Having finally found some potato pancakes, steambread and dried fruit, we made our peace with the fact that we wouldn't be going to the beach that day. So we went back to the hostel, got some real clothes on and hailed a cab to take us to the famous Tsingtao brewery to sample the local goodness. Now, the Lonely Planet Guide Book (which, frankly, sucks) tells us that the term for Tsingtao Brewery is "Qingdao Pijiuchang" and our cabby repeated the phrase as if he knew what we wanted. But, instead of delivering us at our intended destination, he took us out to the local "Beer Carnival" on the edge of town, which wouldn't have been a horrible mistake if the place had looked like it had been open at any point in the last 30 years. Instead, it was crumbling, dilapidated and a disgrace to its enticing name. So then we played pictionary and charades with our cabby, trying to explain what a brewery was, before he called someone who spoke english, at which point he laughed and drove us to the Brewery.
At the brewery, we got to check out all kinds of old-timey beer making stuff, smell hops and yeast and learn all kinds of things about Tsingtao we never knew...
...like its history. Did you know that it was founded by Germans? how cool is that?
We also discovered, that despite its despicable Nazi roots, Tsingtao beer cares about the environment. This was the last picture in a whole display on environmental responsibility... and I thought that there was nothing I could do to help the environment!
The highlight of the brewery (besides the free beer) was the drunk simulator, a room that induces an extreme state of unsteadiness. We still aren't sure if this was caused by a sloping floor, or the rad mural of KISS and other rock greats, but it sure made us feel like we had our slant on.
To enhance the enjoyment of the drunk simulator, there was a camera inside to capture every awkward stagger. This elderly couple didn't look like they enjoyed the experience quite as much as we did.

After cruising the gift shop, and being hugely disappointed by the tasting room (you couldn't try their black beer or the frighteningly enticing "spirulina beer") we ditched the place in total agreement that the Deschutes Brewery in Bend is a way more entertaining experience. With nothing better to do, we had a long two-pitcher lunch at a restaurant across the street, by the end of which we were entertaining ourselves by dubbing the Red Army drama on TV into english. The black beer was good (stout taste without the thick, heavy body), and luckily we had a business card in chinese to show our cab driver, ensuring a drama-free ride back to the hostel. After all, we were in no state for another extended game of charades.

Goodbye Beijing, Hello Qingdao!

2007-10-10T05:42:00.000-07:00

It was tough to believe that we'd really been in Beijing for 11 days, and that the next leg of the trip was beginning. Every day in the northern capitol was so jam-packed with experiences, smells, tastes, sounds that it seemed like we'd already been there a month, but there was still so much to do!
But time does not stand still for even the precious sentimentalities of the traveler, and so grabbing a few pitas filled with roast lamb, lettuce, shredded cucumber and chinese barbecue sauce for the trip, we took the underground to the imposing Beijing train station and caught an overnight train to Qingdao. The trip was relaxing and low key: a few hours of reading (William Vollman's magnificent Europe Central- highly recommended!), a somewhat short night of sleep in the very comfortable "soft" sleeper car, and waking to watch the sun rise over the broad expanse of Shandong province. Flat fields of grain punctuated by stands of trees, huge clusters of (former?) collective farm buildings, and lone figures standing by large fires in the low-hanging mist sped past the window of the train.
After arrival (through a nasty industrial zone), and a convoluted cab ride (must get hostel directions printed in Chinese in the future...), we arrived at our hostel, dropped off our bags and took off to explore "The Pearl of the Yellow Sea."
Qingdao seems about as different from Beijing as is possible without leaving the country... think the difference between Chicago and Santa Cruz. A far cry from Beijing's flat grid layout and traditional Chinese monuments, Qingdao is a hilly maze of crazily winding streets, lined with a huge number of shabby old European buildings from the days when the town was a German concession. It's definately a tourist destination, but stray off the beaches and main drags, and you find streets and markets that reach levels of filth and smell that the relatively meticulous Beijingers would turn their noses up at. It reminds you of the considerable efforts that Beijing has made to shine up its image for the upcoming Olympics, and the extent to which the rest of China is still lagging behind.But don't let me give you the wrong impression... Qingdao is a great city. It is very laid back, and you can tell that the locals enjoy a slower pace of life. The weather was fantastic (as you can see from the pictures), the beaches are haunted by tanned locals exercising, swimming and tanning, and the air is full of dragonflies. Tiny seafood restaurants line the streets with your next meal swimming (or floating belly-up at the cheaper places) in a tank on the sidewalk, and on all but the busiest streets you can find someone with a tapped keg of the delicious local beer who will be happy to fill a plastic bag for you to sip from as you wander around. What better way to wash down a delicious meal of noodle soup filled with tiny clams and a hunk of barbecued octopus with a spicy, sweet, tangy barbecue sauce? Considering that all the above can be yours for about $2, Qingdao makes a compelling case for being heaven on earth.

More Pictures, Less Talking

2007-10-07T07:00:00.001-07:00

Hutong breakfast (clockwise from bottom): Tamarind Gingerbread, Jiang Bing, Sesame Sticks (think semi-sweet fried pretzels with sesame seeds) and Cha (jasmine tea).
China has a conflicted relationship with it's Communist past. This Adidas ad shows that they are getting over it, though.This band kicks serious ass. I swear to god, the violin player could make that instrument sound like a fairytale princess singing from an enchanted castle. It was enough to make you want to cry... The old and the new. A pagoda on lake HouHai and a giant building being constructed in the central business district. You might be able to see the cranes on top of the huge buildings frame which make it look like something out of Star Wars.HouHai bar district at night. Trendy and overpriced, but not without its charm..
The Drum and Bell towers across HouHai at night. Not a bad sight to stare at while getting tossed in a bar, eh?If I could master the Chinese way with words, I wouldn't have to put so many pictures in my blog posts, now would I?

Panjiayuan Market: The Quirk-Loving Shoppers Heaven

2007-10-06T01:39:00.000-07:00

Panjaiyuan Flea Market has quite the reputation as the best market in Beijing (if not the world) for Chinese and other Asian pottery, stonework, woodwork, fabric, paintings, calligraphy, etc, etc, etc. Word has it that even Hillary Clinton has shopped there. Let me confirm once and for all: Panjaiyuan rules.

We got up rather early to the sound of rain beating on the roof, got dressed, grabbed a backpack and headed out the door to catch the subway. This was the first time we had taken the underground, and it was clean, rapid and cheap. Since the rain had only been an early-morning phenomenon since we arrived in Beijing, we ignored the guys hawking cheap umbrellas for 1 yuan at the subway exit and took off south towards the market... after all, we're Oregonians right? As we walked the mile+ from the subway stop the rain only got worse, leaving us thoroughly soaked when we finally arrived. Rather than jumping right into the semi-covered market, we decided to dry off for a moment, and had breakfast in the vendors cafe-- fry bread and millet porridge-- the perfect way to gather our strength for a big morning of heavy duty shopping.

Panjiayuan is huge. Four football field-sized permanent awnings cover the majority of the stalls, with two-story rows of small shops surrounding them. Vendors are roughly divided by the type of goods they are selling, creating huge sections of pottery, beads and the like. It took us a good three hours to scan the majority of the stalls before even buying anything. Once we had some conception of what we were interested in, it was time to get down to the business at hand, namely haggling. Although research had told me that there was a basic formula for success with Chinese vendors, the truth couldn't be further from the truth. Some vendors would knock large chunks off their prices if you so much as hesitated, others weren't interested in dealing with you at all if you looked down your nose at their first price. Most would laugh and say "cheaper, cheaper" at first, but then act dismayed and upset and in some cases simply wave you on if you asked them to knock too much off the price. It was a hugely engaging challenge to pick a low number that would make them hesitate for just a second, and finally agree if you let them tack a few yuan on to leave them with "the upper hand."

Anyway, we shopped for hours, and left feeling as if we'd found everything we wanted without spending much money at all. Here's a little sample:

These two original oil paintings were too cool and quirky to pass up. They are part of a series depicting babies in the roles of generals, dictators and the like. Can't wait to get them framed!
Andrea got this carved horn bracelet for a song... sometimes walking away pays off!
Asian spaceman tin toy. If we ever go back to the market, someone is going to have to physically restrain me from ruinous debt at the tin toy stand. Some very cool stuff there.
These were the surprise find of the outing: Chinese serialized versions of Tintin books. $2.50 a pop, and found under a stack of Cultural Revolution posters (got a bunch of those too!) in a mini-shop on the periphery of the market.
The always-popular Chairman Mao watch with "wave-to-the-people action." Sorry Ben, no snowglobes.
Tibetan-style wood box with elephants and Tibetan script. Sturdy enough to stand or sit on (as demonstrated by our vendor mid-haggle) and hand-painted. Sadly, shipping costs will pad the otherwise low-low price. Still, a sweet box... especially for this elephant lover.
So, there's more including several packs of playing cards (including the Iraq Most Wanted and "Red Memories"), the afore-mentioned Cultural Revolution posters (repros), silver jewelry, and a few gifts which shall remain nameless so as not to ruin the surprise. All for well under $200. Not too shabby.

High on Hot Pot

2007-10-05T03:44:00.000-07:00

"I don't know," said Andrea as we made our way around HouHai Lake for the second time this morning, "I mean, the idea of boiling my own meat just doesn't sound all that appetizing." Luckily just as we thought we couldn't walk another step for fear of collapsing from hunger and exhaustion (on our "day off from all the walking" no less) we came across a packed restaurant, which just happened to specialize in Mongolian Hot Pot-- the very topic of our earlier debate. We were both so hungry, that we didn't even have time to argue... we just sat down and ordered what seemed like a reasonable amount of food. What this translated into was "small pot of competitive product," a huge bubbling vat of fiery broth filled with massive hunks of lamb bone with slow-simmered meat flaking off, one plate of raw, thin-cut "fatty cattle" (beef), one plate of mutton and a plate of daikon radish.

The first step in the nearly hour-long feeding process was to clear some room in the Hot Pot by grabbing a few big bones and gnawing off the tender, melt-in-you-mouth meat. The broth was thick with lamb flavor, which was perfectly balanced by fiery chilies and cilantro, and into this fabulous concoction we dipped the beef, mutton and daikon, allowing it to cook for a few short seconds before shoving into our mouths. The result was spicy, tender and filling, without being heavy or oily like much Chinese food can be-- in short, one of the best meals we have had since we got here. As delicious as the whole thing was, there was no way we could have finished the whole ridiculous pile of meat in one sitting, but luckily the place was nice enough to let you bring leftovers home with you, so after (barely) finishing the meat we cooked ourselves, we had them bag up the meaty lamb bones and broth to be consumed for dinner.

Hot Pot was brought to China (so the story goes) by the Mongols who conquered the place back when things were going so well for them. These nomadic warriors didn't have the time, tools or inclination to create the complex cuisines that their settled conquerees took such pride in, but what they did do was cook thin strips of meat in water which they boiled in their helmets. The barbaric roots are evident in the eating of this delicious meal: this is not your typical chopsticks-and-rice Chinese meal which can be eaten while following any kind of rules of etiquette. There is a visceral thrill to gnawing tender, juicy lamb meat right off the (occasionally identifiable- the trick is not trying) bone, dipping steambread into leftover broth and washing it all down with beer, and the act of eating it perfectly compliments the wild, spicy and generally unrefined character of the food. Allow me to demonstrate:

Roses of the Middle Kingdom

2007-10-04T02:44:00.000-07:00

Since I have devoted a whole post to cars, I thought I'd also showcase some of the beautiful roses that we saw in the Temple of Heaven Park... after all, I also know that at least one reader out there loves her some roses... so here goes!

Sweet Rides from the Middle Kingdom

2007-10-04T02:28:00.000-07:00

Since I know at least one of you out there is a big gearhead I figured I'd post a short homage to a few of the more unique four-wheeled rides here in Beijing... so here goes!No idea what this one is... cute though!
Trying a little too hard to look like an older Mercedes... very popular too (whatever it is).
Heh... this one is just way too cool. Probably more of a "Saturday night chick magnet" than "everyday transport"
The wildly popular but snooze-inducing VW Santana.
The Suzuki Wagon R... this one looks especially good in its two-tone paint job.
The Changan (Suzuki?) Alto. One of the most popular cars here, and full of character. Way cool.
Buicks seem to be real status symbols here. Maybe if the American versions had some of that Maybach look about the headlights they might sell better too...
Dunno... kind of a Chinese Renault Twingo... only not as cute.

Anyway, I'll probably do this again when I accumulate a few more pictures. There are way more unique and funny looking rides to document!

Day 5: Breakfast, Bruce Lee and Haggling Lessons

2007-10-03T15:18:00.000-07:00

Street Food of the Day: Tamarind Gingerbread
While yesterday's culinary highlight was unquestionably the heavenly Peking Duck (see Andrea's blog), our breakfast was well worth a mention. Purchased from a tiny bakery in our local Hutong, this slightly sweet, lightly spiced gingerbread had chunks of what I believe to be dried tamarind fruit in it. These trees grow everywhere here, and their fruit is collected and dried by the locals, who call it Zhao. It tasted a lot like gingerbread, but was slightly less dense, and the dried fruit had a subtle taste that perfectly complimented the flavor. As we walked down Financial Street towards Qianmen stuffing our faces with this stuff, locals made sure to take a close look at what the laowais were eating. In fact, almost everything we buy, or bring home in plastic bags is scrutinized with real curiosity, as if it holds some clue to the nature of our strangeness.

Bumper Sticker of the Day: Bruce Lee IN CAR
Learning Experience of the Day: Haggling
While we were waddling home from Qianmen in a roast-duck induced haze, we noticed a large market that we hadn't yet visited. Walking in, we saw that it was primarily a clothing market, consisting of hundreds of tiny stalls hawking everything from traditional outfits to track jackets to shoes and handbags. After completing a full lap of the first floor, Andrea decided that there was something that she couldn't live without: an olive green sweater with a vaguely military look, but executed with a level of subtlety that many Chinese clothes lack. So, we went back to the stall, where she tried the thing on, and found out to the delight of the middle-aged ladies running the stall that it fit perfectly. Then came the hard part: haggling. They wanted 280, to which I fanned myself against the heat of the place, laughed and shook my head. Then I made my first mistake: I gave them a price I could live with (100). They put on their best looks of outrage and shook their heads furiously, coming back with an offer of 250. I then made my second mistake by revising my price upwards by almost twice what I initially offered, to 175. Smelling blood in the water, the ladies insisted that they wouldn't go below 210. Embarassingly enough, we only had 190 between us after getting ripped off for our roast duck, which they took, but only after giving us a long look of pity and sadness.

As inexperienced as I showed myself to be, I was glad to get the practice before heading to the cutthroat Panjiayuan market this Saturday. I had read in several market guides that you should wait for the vendor to give you two prices before giving them your price, which should be somewhere in the range of 10% of the initial asking price. Then you should revise slowly upwards in small increments, possibly even walking away in disgust to make it clear that you want a reasonable price. In short, you have to play hardball in these situations, which sounds easy on paper, but is actually pretty tricky in practice. Shopping in the west is a fairly genteel process, where high prices usually ensure good quality, good service, or some kind of status. Here, prices are all over the place, and everyone seems to enjoy a good haggle... it's all kind of a big dance. Not only do we have bullseyes on our backs because we are laowai, and people assume we have tons of money to throw around on junk to bring home as souveniers, vendors are also very adept at using high pressure sales tactics that take advantage of our language deficiencies and ignorance of the culture.

Oh well, lesson learned. Andrea got a sweet sweater that would easily cost $40 or so in the US for about $20, and we got our first real taste of market hardball haggling. Here's hoping we keep our nerve a bit better next time.

You might Beijinger if...

2007-10-01T22:56:00.000-07:00

1-You like throwing stuff at the animals in your super-depressing zoo. Check out Andreas blog for more on that. It's a sad story.

2- You love getting awards. I mean, you really, really love getting awards. Beijing has tons and tons of these little awards/trophy shops all over. In fact, if you see one of them, chances are you'll see at least three more before you get to the end of the block. There are even some streets that have upwards of ten shops selling plaques, trophies, cups and other awards and awards paraphernalia. Why? Who knows. Maybe in the absence of a truly free market people need trophies to stay motivated at work. Maybe used plaques commemorating the 25th City Games of Hangzhou are status symbols. Then again, I have yet to see any business transacted in one of these stores...

3- You make your kids wear assless pants. Seriously, you see little kids walking around the streets in pants with the ass cut out. I try to avoid wondering why.

4- You smoke cigarettes while riding a bike. Experts might even talk on a cell phone at the same time.

5-You know how to add those little touches that make a car look truly classy. Booyakasha!

I'm a little bit XiDan Shopping District, and a little bit TienAnMen Square...

2007-10-01T03:42:00.000-07:00

Another exhausting day, of about 8 hours of walking (we have got to start using the subway!), some MegaMall shopping, and mingling with about a million of our closest Chinese amigos in the Forbidden City and TienAnMen on the National Holiday. It's getting to the point where we need to seriously start pacing ourselves, because we still have over 30 days left and we don't want to run ourselves ragged!

XiDan shopping center was the first stop of the day, after our Jiang Bing breakfast (we are becoming fast friends with our neighborhood tricycle vendor) and the walk there was an event in itself, taking us down the impressive Financial Street. XiDan is actually composed of several connected malls and street-level shops, and is a massive monument to China's burgeoning consumer culture. We arrived before the stores even opened, but we got to see a cell phone outfit's morning pep rally, complete with fist raised slogan shouting.

In fact, a whole level of the XiDan is devoted to cell phones, and it takes high-pressure marketing to extreme levels of sensory bombardment... we lasted about 15 seconds before hightailing it to a less stressfully stimulating environment. The majority of the mall was devoted to clothing and shoes, which tend towards uber-trendy looks featuring countless rhinestones and nonsensical english phrases (very, very popular: "boxing match between you and me." Your guess is as good as mine.) Some of the more mature fashions were very nice, but we held off from buying anything untill we hit Shanghai, the capitol of the textile industry. Also of interest:

Maoist/Traditional Chinese doodads. They weren't so fond of my taking pictures (or maybe the fact that I wasn't buying), but this was only a tiny fraction of the store. Hopefully we'll find more Commie Kitsch when we hit the famous Panjiyuan Flea Market later this week.

LED Flashlights. You don't see these much in America... I'm kind of an LED-head (thanks to a fruitless project I wasted countless hours on for my hapless former employers) and these looked pretty cool.

Playboy brand shoes. You can actually find Playboy brand of almost any kind of apparel, including children's shoes(!). There's nothing special about them... in fact most don't even have the brand anywhere on the shoes themselves. Still, it's pretty hilarious considering that obscene images are technically illegal, and the government blocks obscene websights (er, I hear).Anyway, I wasn't hugely impressed by XiDan. No fake luxury brands, no cool kitsch or weird finds. The whole experience was a sort of unintentional parody of a western mall on a huge scale, and the prices weren't even that impressive. It seems that we're going to have to try a little harder to really hit my consumer funnybone.

Since we struck out on the capitalist front, we threw in our lot with the People's Republic and joined the masses in celebrating National Day at the Forbidden City and TienAnMen. Andrea covers the whole thing over at her blog, so I'll just leave you with this little taste of the action:

Take it easy comrades!

Day 2: The List

2007-09-30T15:30:00.000-07:00

Must Have Item To Make You Look Like Less Of A Dumbass Tourist: The Tea Jar

Tea (Cha) is the national drink of China. It's everywhere, from restaurants, to convenience stores, to highly specialized Tea shops which are often the nicest store on the block. You get tea for free with your meals at nicer restaurants (where it costs upwards of a whole $7 to get two people stuffed with food), but if you are rambling the hutongs and living off of street food, you need to get your caffeine kick somehow... which is where the Tea Jar comes in. Everyone carries these here, especially cab drivers and shop owners (ok, that's like 70% of the population) and because they are all clear glass or plastic you can check out all the different brews, the leaf style and color. Basically they are like Eugene's omnipresent Nalgene bottles, but usually a bit smaller and almost always clear. Because our hostel charges a whole 40 cents per cup of tea (!) we bought a bunch of jasmine tea and brew our own using the handy water boiler, and hike around town with a constantly-caffienated spring in our step.

Street Food Of The Day: Jiang Bing

Imagine a paper-thin crepe with an egg, a piece of fried dough, a savory soy-like sauce, a spicy chili sauce, green onions and cilantro all rolled up and made right in front of you... for breakfast. Our vendor was delighted to rip us off by charging us 5 yuan instead of the usual 3 (60 cents instead of 40... oh damn), and was even happier to see us swoon at the delicousness of it all. It made our noses run, and our tastebuds tingle, but it kept us full all morning. Guess what we are having for breakfast again today?

Must Have Item That Will Definately Make You Look More Like A Dumbass Tourist: Faux-Tiger Skin Rug

I had this idea a while ago, and although I was thinking of something a little more kid-friendly, this would definately do. Now, how the hell am I gonna get it into my suitcase?

Cutest Beijinger Of The Day: Kitteh!

Pets are hugely popular here, and we've already seen cats, dogs, rabbits and several different bird species. None came close to this little guy in terms of sheer cuteness, though.

Smell Of The Day: Seed and Nut Stands

Beijing is a never-ending olfactory experience, and often times smell will be the most stimulated sense as you walk around the streets and hutongs. One of my favorite smells has got to be the shops and stands that sell a wide variety of nuts and seeds. Chestnuts, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, hazlenuts and much more are very popular in Beijing, and these stands often have long lines of customers. It's not at all surprising, as the smell of these nuts and seeds slow-roasting is delicate, complex and totally enticing.

So, as I'm sure you can tell by now, Beijing is an amazing city with an endless amount of things to see and do before you need to even consider going near a tourist spot. The only downside is that you can only physically walk so many hours in a day before you simply collapse from exhaustion. The benefit to this is that you reach a point in the evening where you just have to go home, regroup for a few hours with some tea and always-tasty Tsingtao beer before heading back out to check out the wild and crazy hutong night market scene. This provides the perfect opportunity to practice the Mandarin (people seem to love it if you make any effort at all, especially if you don't mind joining them in a laugh at your expense) and write down a few thoughts. Hopefully you all enjoy reading them.

Bye for now!
(picture: me and the bell tower, taken from the drum tower)

"I take two Benadryl in times of peace, and two in times of war..."

2007-09-29T16:56:00.000-07:00

Ahh, Jetlag. We were so exhausted after a day of tramping around the city that we broke the cardinal rule of jetlag management and passed out around 5pm local time. We woke up at about 2am, and with nothing to do we decided to watch the Duck game stats update on gametracker. Not wanting to stare at a computer for 5 hours waiting to get word about our lost bags, we made a party of it and had a couple of Benadryl each, washed down by a shared bottle of Tsingtao. 15 minutes later, we were both passed out again like a couple of freshmen. We woke up around 7am local, read the thrilling (but disappointing) finish to the Ducks game.

Whatever is in that Benadryl stuff saved our jetlagged asses from several long hours of waiting, and another day of out-of-syncness. Now, it's off to score some Hutong breakfast, and then on to meet with the Friends of Old Beijing. The only problem now is that we still have no cameras, and we smell just like the locals... but maybe that means we get the local price on baozi and bing.

Safe Landings...

2007-09-28T23:08:00.000-07:00

Well, we finally made it. After a flight delay, a rerouting, several "WTF" moments at ticketing counters, and having all our luggage lost on the way, we are finally in Beijing. We arrived at 5:30 a.m, waited for our bags, realized they weren't coming and filed the necessary paperwork with the airline. We went through immigration and customs, and in a jetlagged daze we walked out the doors of the terminal to the taxi queue. We were instantly accosted by a man who said "taxi" and beckoned us to follow. As we passed the line of waiting cabs, it suddenly occurred to me that we should just get into the first livery cab, and not follow the seemingly well-intentioned gent to his undetermined location. We hopped in a cab, to a chorus of disappointed wails, and started driving into town.

I have never witnessed anything quite like Beijing traffic before. It is truly a testament to the engrained cultural value of social harmony that everyone can so totally ignore the rules and act solely in self interest and yet avoid any accidents. Our driver straddled lanes, merged and generally navigated the chaos like a fish swimming in a giant school. Several times I was convinced we would be sandwiched between cars, hit by bicyclists, or run off the road by larger, faster cars. He even managed to call our hostel on his cell and get updated directions, all while negotiating traffic that would make a NASCAR driver blanch.

After checking in at our hostel, we had little choice but to walk around for a while, as our room was not yet vacated. We explored the neighborhood hutong (alleys) for a while, and were delighted to find them as authentically rustic (read: smelly) and full of character as we could have expected. Clearly the Olympic development has not totally destroyed old Beijing. After getting thoroughly lost in the winding hutongs, we finally got our bearings and headed to BeiHai park. Exhausted, jetlagged and overwhelmed by the enormous city bustling around us, BeiHai was the perfect escape. People were dancing, knitting, practicing TaiChi and playing cards along the edge of the lake, and the high-rises around us were smothered by a layer of smog so that we practically forgot that we were in a city at all.

We walked past the Forbidden City to Donghuamen street where we had a delicious meal of Fujian tea-smoked duck and SiChuan beef and onions with beer (for like, $8). We checked out some of the shops in the Wangfujing shopping street, but we were beginning to get pretty tired, and had a long trek still back to the hostel so we headed back. Now we are hanging out in our tiny but charming room in our siheyuan (courtyard-style) hostel. We both stink like the dickens, but have no clothes to change into and very limited toiletries due to our luggage being lost (this is also why we have no photos yet). Hopefully the bags will arrive tomorrow, and we can show you all some of the sights of this amazing city.

The more things change, the more they become different...

2007-09-21T14:03:00.000-07:00

So, a few of you may notice that my half-assed attempt at writing regularly in this blogs previous format have ceased. Some may even have noticed that my attention has been distracted of late from the topics which I had written about in the last academic year. These changes have occured quite by chance, through the miracle of Craigslist, in the form of a new (paying) job in a field I had never really considered seriously. As I attempt to reinvent myself as the immaculate product developer, this blog will focus on material culture, design and consumer products.

And what better way to kick off an ongoing exploration of these topics than by documenting a month-long trip to the modern heart of consumer product manufacturing: China. Andrea and I will be leaving for Beijing on the 27th of September, we will stay in Beijing for about 2 weeks, as Andrea completes research on her thesis (see her blog at sustainabilitygap.blogspot.com), then on to Shanghai and the Yangtze Delta for about 10 days, then back to Beijing for the 7th International Conference on Sport and the Environment. During the course of this journey, I want to use this space to not only show the tourist sights and landmarks of China, but also the material culture: the myriad products made and consumed in China.

Because we will be packing lightly, and bringing back purchases for ourselves (already on the list: tailored suits, rugs and communist kitsch) I will be happy to arrange the purchase and transportation of any items which I post here, if you are interested. If there are things you would like me to look for, please leave a comment and I'll se what I can do. Just think of me as your private shopper in the manufacturing capitol of the world...

6 days now, and counting...